People contemplating divorce are often eager to look into other options first. They want to work on their marriage if possible. Frequently, those preparing for divorce consider going to couples counseling to address their marital issues.
They look at therapy as a way to address their issues or to at least feel confident about their decision to file. People on the cusp of divorce may question whether they should suggest joint therapy or simply move forward with a divorce petition.
Is couples therapy a viable option for those in struggling marriages?
Marital counseling often helps
People often imply that joint counseling sessions are not worth the investment of time and money that they require. However, research about the outcome of couples counseling indicates the opposite. Approximately 75% of those who attend joint counseling sessions report a noticeable improvement in their marital dynamic.
Unfortunately, those improvements are sometimes temporary. One spouse may make a concerted effort for a few weeks, but they may eventually slip back into their prior unhealthy patterns. Spouses may simply delay the inevitable, and their frustration with one another may increase in the interim.
Another downside of couples counseling is that it forces spouses to acknowledge that divorce might be a possibility. That can make it harder for one spouse to gather the documentation they need and prepare for a divorce filing without the interference of the other spouse.
On the positive side, sometimes couples counseling makes it clear that the marriage isn’t sustainable or that the spouses no longer share the same priorities. People sometimes feel more confident moving forward with a divorce after they have attempted counseling.
In cases where they share children together, what they learn about themselves and one another can help them work together more effectively as co-parents after they divorce. They may even continue co-parenting therapy to work on their communication and conflict-resolution skills.
Factors including the likelihood of financial misconduct, a history of domestic violence or even the pattern of infidelity can influence whether or not marital counseling is a viable option for those who worry about the status of their marriages. For some people, counseling could lead to escalating tensions and overt spousal misconduct.
Those attending couples counseling and not seeing results may want to also discuss their situation with someone familiar with divorce proceedings. Being proactive about personal protection may be as important as making every effort to preserve the marital relationship.