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What Are the Concerns of Getting Divorced If You Have Kids?

On Behalf of | Jul 22, 2014 | Child Custody and Visitation, Child Support, Divorce

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As you ponder the effects of a potential divorce on your children, you would like to be able to predict what life would be like in the future, depending on what decision you make.

Obviously, in an ideal world, you would like to be able to run an experiment and watch how your life would unfold, if you made a decision to stay together for a few years and then compare that reality to the life that you might lead, if you got divorced right now.

Some quantum mechanical theories of the universe suggest that both realities will actually come to pass (in separate quantum universes). But theoretical physics is not an appropriate tool to solve your dilemma!

Rather than trying to project your happiness forward several years — which is very hard to do, because our ability to project our futures is clouded by biases too numerous even to catalogue here — what should you do?

Author Daniel Gilbert (“Stumbling on Happiness”) suggests the following trick. To assess how you might feel about a particular outcome in the future, find someone else who has made a similar decision to the one you’re contemplating, and then see how that person’s doing now.

For instance, let’s say you have three kids, and you are contemplating getting a divorce. Find someone else from a similar economic and cultural background who got divorced three years ago. Then ask that person how he or she is feeling about the situation. Next, find someone else who wanted to get divorce but decided to stay together. See how that person is doing today. This tactic can help you gauge how your decision might play out.

For help understanding the legal aspects of your California divorce, call Dinnebier & Demmerle right now to set up a consultation to speak with our lawyers.