One of the dangers of going through a divorce while you’re trying ride out a sickness or injury is that you might feel helpless and fail to meet needs for control and autonomy.
Even if you can “outthink” your problems and find people to meet your crucial needs in the months to come, you still probably have a deep drive to “do things yourself” and “be independent and feel productive.”
Fortunately, you can exert your will on the world, even if you are feeling physically frail and you are battling an ex-spouse in a California divorce negotiation or child custody hearing. Choose battles that you want to fight and that you can win.
For instance, maybe you’ve decided to follow in the footsteps of documentary filmmaker Morgan Spurlock and strip sugar out of your diet. You can enjoy a sugar free lifestyle while battling your illness/injury and working through your divorce. Give yourself “stuff to do” that you can succeed at doing. Research into human autonomy suggests that this may be a useful strategy.
One famous study on nursing home residents, for instance, found that residents who had the ability to water a plant in their rooms lived significantly longer than controls who weren’t given the option to water a plant. The research findings were so powerful that the authors decided to stop the study in the middle because they were worried about the health and wellbeing of the control group!
That point is that you can take action and feel good about the actions that you are taking, even if you’re sick and challenged by divorce. Take the first step to success by calling the Dinnebier & Demmerle team right now to schedule a consultation with us.