How should you talk about your divorce with a new boyfriend or girlfriend?
After a divorce or separation, your needs for companionship, love, fulfillment, etc. don’t just disappear. They may lie dormant for a few months, as you process what happened to the relationship. But, eventually, you will probably want to “get back out there” and date, and potentially, re-partner.
But how should you break the news about your divorce to new partners? What can you say and do to protect your privacy and ensure a high likelihood of success with any new relationship?
First off, appreciate that you will need to do some experimenting as you settle into your new reality. Context is obviously key. If you’re meeting someone through a dating site, you might not have to say anything — your status “divorced and looking” might be front and center on your profile. Of course, at some point, you will need to discuss what happened in your past relationship, but only reveal as much detail as you feel like revealing:
- Play close attention to how you feel before, during, and after these interactions.
- Journal about conversations that make you uncomfortable – and note conversations about the divorce that “go well.”
- Be a student of your own experience and your own psychology, and you will figure out what works best for you. Some people might feel comfortable discussing their divorce in copious detail. Others might crave much more privacy.
- Use a feedback loop (such as a journal) to get clear about what makes you comfortable and what makes you uncomfortable.
For help dealing with other aspects of the divorce, contact the Dinnebier & Demmerle team right now to schedule a confidential case evaluation.