Perhaps your spouse of 10 years announced one night, after the kids were asleep, that she wanted to leave. Or maybe you and your ex have been struggling for months (if not longer) about how to work out a fair visitation arrangement. On some level, you know that you need to “bounce back” from your frustrations and move on with your life. But how do you become resilient? Are people just born with the ability to bounce back, or can you cultivate “resilience skills”?
Exciting psychological research suggests that you can, indeed, train yourself to become more agile at bouncing back from setbacks. In the next few posts, we will still talk about strategies to do just that. Let’s get started.
1. Look for examples in your life in which you have overcome challenges.
You may have had a difficult life – and a particularly tough last few months or year. But if you search hard enough, you can almost certainly find examples of situations in which you regained equilibrium quickly after an unfair event. List those on paper. Reflect on that list every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to sleep. By recalling what’s it’s like to bounce back, you will be more likely to think of yourself as a resilient person – and act accordingly.
2. Build your social network.
We’ve all heard the saying: “no one does it alone.” But it’s true! It’s true, whether you’re building a business, bringing a child into the world, or bouncing back after a divorce or separation. Look to people you love and trust to help you get through this hard time.
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