Whether you caught your wife cheating with an ex-boyfriend, or you and your wife have “called it quits” after 14 years together and four kids, you want to approach the divorce process mindfully to protect your assets, shield your kids and make life easier for everyone. Here are 5 common mistakes that many men make during the divorce process.
1. Blaming the ex-spouse.
No doubt, your ex-wife (or ex-husband) did a lot of things that were less than ideal, from your perspective. Dwelling on what she did wrong (or what he did wrong, if you’re a gay man) is not particularly constructive. It can lead to needless anxiety and bitterness. Instead, focus on growing and healing yourself and your kids.
2. Rushing into a new relationship too soon.
It’s not uncommon for newly divorced men to strive to rebound or even re-partner rapidly after a breakup. Be mindful of how you approach post-divorce dating. Give yourself time and psychological space to process what you have been through, and set modest expectations – both for yourself and for any new partners that you meet.
3. Allowing the divorce to serve as an excuse to be sedentary, depressed, and unhealthy.
During stressful times, almost everyone gets tempted by certain unhealthy compulsions, like drugs, alcohol, bad food, and abuse of the internet. Too much destructive indulgence can be bad for your health and even hinder your fortunes during the divorce. For instance, let’s say that, after your wife leaves you, you start drinking a lot, smoking, eating bad food, or playing hooky at work. The court will notice that behavior, and it might penalize you for it, when it comes to deciding child visitation and child custody.
For sensible, sensitive insights about how to handle a divorce in California, connect with the Dinnebier & Demmerle team to discuss your legal strategy.